I had no idea that God was working on my heart but he certainly was. He was preparing me for what was yet to come...
It was March 2006. I was living at home, in my last couple of quarters at Athens Tech, and working as a waitress in Dacula. I was more than ready to be done with school. I was ready to have a real job. My uncle was looking for someone to fill a position at his company and approached me. I was pumped! He was going to allow me to finish school but to go ahead and come on board full time. This was just what I was looking for! I couldn't wait to tell MeMe & De-Daddy about this! I can remember it so clearly. I drove straight to their house but they were not there. As I was walking back to my car to leave they pulled into the driveway. They had been to one of MeMe's doctors appointments. We went inside and I told them about the job offer and how excited I was. They were both very excited for me. MeMe looked at me and said, "I bet FQ won't let you wear jeans to work". I said "Probably not, but I don't mind. I can't wait to wear "office clothes" everyday". We all laughed and I continued to catch them up on everything else that was going on.
That was one of the last conversations I had with MeMe. On March 16, 2006 she was admitted into the hospital and that was the day that we lost her, not physically but mentally. She was in pain and all of the med's the doctors had her on had her out of her mind, literally. The docs released her to come home. She spent her final weeks on this earth at home with her family & friends beside her. I was there often. It was extremely difficult for me to watch though. She was not herself. The disease and med's had taken over her body and she was slowly slipping away.
It was on one of her final days here that something clicked in my head & in my heart. Some of the family had all gathered in her bedroom because their pastor was there and wanted to pray with the family. We were all there talking and visiting and trying to explain to MeMe what was going on when she just started mumbling. She closed her eyes and was mumbling. We soon figured out she was praying. She was talking to her Savior. In that moment I lost it. Even through everything MeMe had been through she still had her faith in the Lord. She still trusted Him and she would soon finally meet Him. How in the world could I have given up on God? I began to pray.
On April 9, 2006, my MeMe got to meet her Savior, Jesus Christ. In the moments just before she passed I was able to spend some time with her. She was not able to speak but I know she heard me. I was able to inform her that "FQ does allow me to wear jeans to work". :) After she passed away I had to be alone, alone with God. I went out to the pasture and sat down. I yelled, screamed, cried, talked, and was also just quiet.
The months that followed MeMe's death were extremely difficult. But it was in that time that I made a vow to God that I was done with doing things my way and I was ready to do things His way. I just needed some help and God knew this.
To be continued...(I promise I'm almost done ;) )