Thursday, August 7, 2008

My Story - Part 2

I was moving to Athens. I was moving into my first real apartment *side note: the previous semester I had taken over my cousin Kristy's room in an apartment in Athens b/c she had moved home that semester. I was pretty back and forth in staying there though. I was still with D at that time and spent pretty much all of my time at his house.* So this was technically my first apartment. I had freedom and I planned on taking full advantage of it. I was still very far from God and was very much into living solely for me. I thought I could handle my life just fine.


I did pretty good for a while. I was making new friends, going to class, still working part-time, and made time to have plenty of fun. Life was great. But I soon let all the fun I was having take priority over pretty much everything. I still continued to go to school and work part-time but did just what I had to just to get by. My focus was elsewhere...partying, boys, and more partying. This is what I filled my life with. I was running; running from myself, my guilt, my anger, my loneliness, my problems, and trying to run from watching Cancer take over another precious person in my life.

My mom's mom, who I called MeMe, had been diagnosed with multiple myeloma about a year or so before I moved to Athens. This was something that impacted me greatly. MeMe and I were extremely close and the thought of losing yet another person in my life to Cancer (my daddy passed away from Cancer and his mom did as well when I was in high school) well I just couldn't bare it. I couldn't imagine going through that pain again. I grew even more angry at God and tried to run further and further away. I would often question, "If God loves me so much why does he keep letting the people I love the most suffer and why does he keep taking them away from me". I was hurting, I was mad, and I didn't understand.

The partying for me was a way to escape and I continued to party and party hard throughout my time in Athens. With the partying came the boys. I was in and out of relationships. I was searching for a connection, for someone to love me, and someone to fill the void I had in my heart. A void that I would later learn can only be filled by My Savior, Jesus Christ. My time in Athens lasted for 3 1/2 years. It was while living with my last two roommates, who happened to be guys, that I had had enough. This way of life that I was living just wasn't working anymore. It was time to come home. So home is where I went.

About a month or so after moving back home MeMe had taken a turn for the worse. She was in and out of the hospital and things were not looking good. Since I was living back at home I was now back in church on Sundays. Not something I exactly wanted to do but did anyway. I had no idea that God was working on my heart during this time but he certainly was. He was preparing me for what was yet to come...

To be continued...

2 comments:

morgan collins said...

keep it comin'!

Amber said...

Hey McCall - I'm enjoying reading your story. Thanks for sharing it!