Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Lot's going on up there

Today was just one of those days where I had a lot of time to think, to wonder, to question, to really dig deep about several issues. I'm not sure if it is just a female thing, all the "thinkin", or if it is just a "me" thing. But I do know that I've got to express my thoughts so here I go...
I am 26 years old but will turn 27 in two weeks. My life is not exactly as I had dreamed it would be at this age. I always thought that I would be married by 21/22 have my first child by 25 but be done having kids by the time I was 30. I guess it is just a mindset (or whatever you want to call it) that girls who grow up in small towns after high school will go to college, get married, get a job, and then start having kids. It was my thought process pretty much most of my life. It is like it is something that is expected in small towns. I know a lot of people who have done this and they are extremely happy. I am happy for them. And if I were to say that I wasn't a tiny bit jealous then I would be lying. Not something that I should feel, the jealousy, but there is part of me at times that wishes that were me. Anyway, it's not me. It isn't something God has chosen to be part of His plan for me yet. For a long time I struggled with this and I still do from time to time hence this post. But I can honestly say that for the last several months my heart on this subject has changed. I am finally content right where I am. I am enjoying just knowing that God does have a plan for me. And things may not happen just as I believe they should but I am learning that His timing is absolutely perfect. He knows exactly when the right time will be and who it will be with. That excites me! I do often wonder what the man God has for me is like...Is his relationship w/ the Lord his #1 priority; does he have a passion for music like I do; does he love children & have a heart for adoption like I do; does he have tattoos and dress a little edgy or is he a clean cut business man; does he think about me; does he pray for me like I pray for him; would he have a problem if I had my nose pierced; is his family important to him; will we have the love of college football in common; what color is his hair & eyes, is he dark or light skinned; is he from a different culture or a different race...I wonder those things and more quite often. But knowing that God already knows each and every one of those things along with all of my other questions makes me anxious to finally meet him yet calm that He (God) has it all under control.
I truly believe that during this season of my life God is teaching me to trust, to have patience, to rest in him, and have faith. I have grown a lot in my walk over the last 2 years but in these last several months God has taught me a lot about things I thought I already knew. I am enjoying this time, this season of my life that I get to spend learning more and growing closer to my Father. So when I start to fret about my future I just remember that God's plan for my life is perfect and is the only plan I want for my life.

And that was just one of the things I had going on in my head today!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Mad Hatter's Ball

I know I am a few days late on this but I've been going non-stop! So this past weekend I went to a St. Jude's event, the Mad Hatter's Ball. They had it at Tongue & Groove in Atlanta. I had never been to T & G before but I really liked it a lot. I think it actually moved to a new location. Anyway, the event was cocktail attire so my friends and I got all dressed up & went and had a great time. Here are a few pics from the night...


This is Katie, Me, and Courtney


Katie and I


Courtney and Katie

Yes, we like to take pictures of ourselves...but what girl doesn't? ;) It was a great night. I don't get to dress up fancy very often but really enjoy it when I do...well all except the shoes...they usually don't last all night. And they didn't Sat. night either. Why we ladies put ourselves through the torture of wearing high heels I will never understand. Oh well, they sure look good and they do add a little height to shorty's like me. Ha! Ok I am rambling about nonsense...I'm signing off...until next time.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Hilarious!!!

I stumbled across this blog yesterday. It is a great blog, you should check it out! Anyway, one of the post from this week almost made me pee my pants. It was this post. So I decided to take the dare and here is what I got...



Can you guess what year each one is? Go ahead, try it, it is fun! But be sure to post your pics as well :) http://www.yearbookyourself.com/

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Buckhead Music Project



I am stoked about this project. I know great things are going to come from this.
So I have one question for believers...Who will you bring?
And I have one challenge for non-believers...Take that one step, come check it out, come with an open mind, and you might just find what you've been looking for...


http://www.myspace.com/buckheadmusicproject

Friday, August 15, 2008

Tag, You're It!!!

I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. I've been tagged. So here it goes...



3 Random Facts

1. Clean sheets are one of my favorite things

2. I'm in need of a nap

3. I don't really get into the Olympics


3 Current Obsessions

1. Technology/Networking World

2. 100 Calorie Packs

3. Counting down the days until GA Football...15 to go!


3 Goals

1. To be living in Atl. by mid-Oct., if not sooner

2. Get back to my 4-5 days a week workout obsession

3. A few others I'll just keep to myself ;)


3 Fears

1. Ferris Wheel / Heights

2. People I love and care about not knowing the Lord before they die

3. Rats, Snakes, etc...


3 Joys

1. Music

2. Watching Addison grow up & her innocence

3. Spending time w/ family & friends


Okay now I tag...Morgan, Marci, and Amber! Have fun :)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

In case your looking...

for the conclusion to My Story it is actually posted under my last post about Addison's birthday. I started it on Sunday but was just able to finish and post it today. So it's there...just scroll on down and take a peek :)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Happy Birthday Addison McKenzie!!!!

My niece Addison turned 6 years old today! I can't believe it! I love this little girl with my whole heart. This world wouldn't be the same without her!!! Happy Birthday Little Bit!

My Story - The Conclusion

I had made a vow to live for God and stop living for me. But my only problem was I wasn't exactly sure where to start because I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own. So I did all I really knew to do. I continued to go to church every Sunday with my parents. I tried out a Sunday School class for people my age to try and connect somewhere. I was talking to God on a regular basis. I was doing everything that I had been taught to do my entire life. Remember I grew up in church & in a Christian family so I knew all the things to say and do.

Meanwhile, I was working full time for my uncle and in a working environment that I had never experienced before. Everyone was a believer of Jesus Christ. This was not a normal working environment for me. But it was exactly where I needed to be and exactly where God wanted me. I thought this was just a job but it turns out that in my first year and a half of working there my life was greatly impacted. I was now working with people that had such a passion for the Lord and it was written all over their face and showed in their actions. God was using them to minister to me and I'm not exactly sure they nor I had a clue. But who knows maybe they did.

In August of 2006, God brought another person into my life that would impact me far greater than I could have ever imagined. I was set up with B, a good friend of one of my co-workers. I kinda already knew him though b/c he and my best-friend had been great friends since high school. I was really apprehensive about going out with him though because I knew he was a very strong believer and even though I was a believer I was very far from where he was. He intimidated the crap outta me but I figured hey what the heck I'll give it a shot. On our first date he asked if he could pray before we started to eat. I agreed and he began to pray. But it wasn't just thanking God for our food, he was praying over our time spent together that night, and prayed over our conversation. Needless to say I was blown away. I had never been on a date where a guy had done that before. After our first date there was a second date, a third, and a forth. I was totally smitten.

As we continued to date, I left my home church and began to attend a more contemporary service with B. I absolutely loved the church. The worship was amazing and the messages I could really identify with. I even joined a small group for single females my age. It was something that was terrifying and exciting all at the same time. I knew no one in the group but knew that I needed to surround myself with other girls my age that were also believers. It ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made. God was even more real to me than ever before and I was learning what having a real relationship with Him is all about. It is far more than just attending church on Sundays. It is living your life for Him. Spending time with Him in His word. Sharing your fears, desires, worries, and your heart with Him. It is letting Him lead and you follow. It is listening for His commands and then following through. It is about a love like you have never experienced before. A love that is so great it is hard to wrap your brain around it but you embrace it b/c you can't imagine your life without it. It is about His grace for me & you even though we are undeserving. It is about Jesus Christ dying on the cross for you & for me so that we would be able to spend eternity with Him.

In a matter of weeks my world as I knew it had flipped upside down and it continued on that way for the next several months. B and I continued to date. We were spending every moment we could together and we were both falling for one another. I had never been in a dating relationship like what we had before. B challenged me in every area of my life and come to find out I like and need to be challenged. We would pray together about things going on in our lives, for our relationship, and for each other. Physical boundaries were set very early on; another thing that never been established in my past relationships. Most of our nights together were spent watching TV or a movie, or talking about anything and everything.

Yep, I had definitely fallen and fallen hard. We were in love. The M word was soon discussed and definitely prayed over. I had never been so sure about something in my life. Our relationship continued to develop & progress. Then in December, B came to me and said "we need to talk". Yes, the dreaded four words no one ever wants to hear. He informed me that he was having doubts and wasn't sure why but that he didn't feel that we should be together any longer. Talk about a punch in the gut. I sat there in shock not knowing what to say or do. I believe I may have cried a little b/c that's what I do, I cry. I am a crier. Our break-up lasted for a about 2 or 3 weeks and we were back together. This pattern continued until February of '07. By then, we both knew that it wasn't going to work and frankly I was tired of dealing with all of the yanking back & forth.

The three months of all of the back and forth were very tough. And in the past I would have ran as far away from God as I could. But you see something had changed in my life and that was my relationship with my Savior. Instead of running from Him I ran straight to Him. Straight into His arms and it was there that I was comforted and found peace. I knew that God had a plan for my life and that He wanted only the best for me. So all I could do was have faith. In January I attended Passion '07 here in Atlanta. I was challenged even more and my faith in the Lord grew to a greater depth. I spent the next year growing and learning more about God. And my relationship with Him continued to wow me every day.

Fast forward to today. I am still as passionate as ever about my relationship with the Lord and my faith in Him remains. I am now attending a different church here in Atlanta and I have found a home there. I have joined another single ladies small group and I also serve on the production team which I LOVE. I am still working for my uncle as well. And as I look back now at my relationship with B I thank God for it. God brought B into my life for a season and with purpose. B is an awesome guy, who loves and lives for the Lord, and he taught me a lot. And for that I am grateful. I am not a perfect person and I mess up constantly. But I know that God will never leave or forsake me. I am still learning and still growing...two things I will never get tired of doing.

And that is why it is by God's grace that I am here today.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

The conclusion...

is coming I promise. I have been going non-stop all day today and have not had a chance to sit down and post. I plan on doing that tomorrow night. So to those of you who are actually reading my story I promise the ending is coming and let me just tell you the best is yet to come!!!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend! Only 21 more days until GA Football!!! WooHoo!!! Okay I'm exhausted and I'm going to bed.

Friday, August 8, 2008

My Story - Part 3

I had no idea that God was working on my heart but he certainly was. He was preparing me for what was yet to come...


It was March 2006. I was living at home, in my last couple of quarters at Athens Tech, and working as a waitress in Dacula. I was more than ready to be done with school. I was ready to have a real job. My uncle was looking for someone to fill a position at his company and approached me. I was pumped! He was going to allow me to finish school but to go ahead and come on board full time. This was just what I was looking for! I couldn't wait to tell MeMe & De-Daddy about this! I can remember it so clearly. I drove straight to their house but they were not there. As I was walking back to my car to leave they pulled into the driveway. They had been to one of MeMe's doctors appointments. We went inside and I told them about the job offer and how excited I was. They were both very excited for me. MeMe looked at me and said, "I bet FQ won't let you wear jeans to work". I said "Probably not, but I don't mind. I can't wait to wear "office clothes" everyday". We all laughed and I continued to catch them up on everything else that was going on.

That was one of the last conversations I had with MeMe. On March 16, 2006 she was admitted into the hospital and that was the day that we lost her, not physically but mentally. She was in pain and all of the med's the doctors had her on had her out of her mind, literally. The docs released her to come home. She spent her final weeks on this earth at home with her family & friends beside her. I was there often. It was extremely difficult for me to watch though. She was not herself. The disease and med's had taken over her body and she was slowly slipping away.

It was on one of her final days here that something clicked in my head & in my heart. Some of the family had all gathered in her bedroom because their pastor was there and wanted to pray with the family. We were all there talking and visiting and trying to explain to MeMe what was going on when she just started mumbling. She closed her eyes and was mumbling. We soon figured out she was praying. She was talking to her Savior. In that moment I lost it. Even through everything MeMe had been through she still had her faith in the Lord. She still trusted Him and she would soon finally meet Him. How in the world could I have given up on God? I began to pray.

On April 9, 2006, my MeMe got to meet her Savior, Jesus Christ. In the moments just before she passed I was able to spend some time with her. She was not able to speak but I know she heard me. I was able to inform her that "FQ does allow me to wear jeans to work". :) After she passed away I had to be alone, alone with God. I went out to the pasture and sat down. I yelled, screamed, cried, talked, and was also just quiet.

The months that followed MeMe's death were extremely difficult. But it was in that time that I made a vow to God that I was done with doing things my way and I was ready to do things His way. I just needed some help and God knew this.

To be continued...(I promise I'm almost done ;) )

Thursday, August 7, 2008

My Story - Part 2

I was moving to Athens. I was moving into my first real apartment *side note: the previous semester I had taken over my cousin Kristy's room in an apartment in Athens b/c she had moved home that semester. I was pretty back and forth in staying there though. I was still with D at that time and spent pretty much all of my time at his house.* So this was technically my first apartment. I had freedom and I planned on taking full advantage of it. I was still very far from God and was very much into living solely for me. I thought I could handle my life just fine.


I did pretty good for a while. I was making new friends, going to class, still working part-time, and made time to have plenty of fun. Life was great. But I soon let all the fun I was having take priority over pretty much everything. I still continued to go to school and work part-time but did just what I had to just to get by. My focus was elsewhere...partying, boys, and more partying. This is what I filled my life with. I was running; running from myself, my guilt, my anger, my loneliness, my problems, and trying to run from watching Cancer take over another precious person in my life.

My mom's mom, who I called MeMe, had been diagnosed with multiple myeloma about a year or so before I moved to Athens. This was something that impacted me greatly. MeMe and I were extremely close and the thought of losing yet another person in my life to Cancer (my daddy passed away from Cancer and his mom did as well when I was in high school) well I just couldn't bare it. I couldn't imagine going through that pain again. I grew even more angry at God and tried to run further and further away. I would often question, "If God loves me so much why does he keep letting the people I love the most suffer and why does he keep taking them away from me". I was hurting, I was mad, and I didn't understand.

The partying for me was a way to escape and I continued to party and party hard throughout my time in Athens. With the partying came the boys. I was in and out of relationships. I was searching for a connection, for someone to love me, and someone to fill the void I had in my heart. A void that I would later learn can only be filled by My Savior, Jesus Christ. My time in Athens lasted for 3 1/2 years. It was while living with my last two roommates, who happened to be guys, that I had had enough. This way of life that I was living just wasn't working anymore. It was time to come home. So home is where I went.

About a month or so after moving back home MeMe had taken a turn for the worse. She was in and out of the hospital and things were not looking good. Since I was living back at home I was now back in church on Sundays. Not something I exactly wanted to do but did anyway. I had no idea that God was working on my heart during this time but he certainly was. He was preparing me for what was yet to come...

To be continued...

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

My Story - Part 1

This past Sunday my face was rocked off and I've taken that with me into this week. At church the message was given by Louie Giglo on God's grace. It was, well, amazing! God's grace is truly amazing!!! At the end of Louie's message he told a little more of Ashley's story. If you haven't heard Ashley's story you MUST, really, MUST check it out.

You can also hear Louie's message from Sunday here. It is titled "Home Free - Even Me ; Fruitcake & Ice Cream"

Anyway, like I said at the beginning I've taken what God laid on Louie's heart with me into this week. And as I've reflected back on it all week I am again completely blown away by God's grace. It is by His grace that I am where I am at today. I would like to share a little of my story with you...

I grew up in a Christian home, and we were in church Sunday morning, Sunday nights, and Wednesday nights. I attended church camps, was part of the youth group, hung out with my Sunday School class sometimes on the weekends...I think you get the picture. I accepted Christ at the age of 8 but I don't think I really understood what it meant to have a relationship with Him until I was in high school. It was then that I rededicated my life to live for Jesus Christ.

I was a pretty good kid. Of course there were times I would get myself into trouble but I had a mom that was very on top of things so even if I tried to get away with things I didn't get very far (and I can honestly say to my mom now, THANK YOU). After high school I decided that I would stay at home and go to Gainesville College for my 1st year or 2.

While I was attending GC I started dating D. We continued to date for the next 3 years. Over the 3 year span of our relationship I slipped and I mean really slipped bad. I suddenly had no desire to be in church, read my Bible, pray, really have anything to do with the Lord. However, I was still living at home and it was a rule in our house that as long as you lived there you would be in church on Sundays. I would go occasionally just b/c I had to but I would quite often spend-the-night off just to get out of going to church. You see, I was investing all of me into D and our relationship which left little time for much else. He was my world, my first true love and I didn't think that I needed anyone else. We had been together for almost 3 years and I was sure that we would get married. A couple months shy of our 3 year anniversary we ended our relationship.

I couldn't believe it was over. Done. No more. Three years down the drain. I did my grieving and while doing so decided it was time for a change of scenery. I was working as a bank teller and going to school in Athens. I was ready to be out of my parents house and they were ready for me to go. So, I found some roommates and that August I moved to Athens, GA...one of the biggest college partying towns in the country.

To be continued...

Monday, August 4, 2008

Name/Location/Blog

The blogging world is very interesting to me. I know that I was reading blogs way before I decided to start my own. I would start out with a friends blog and then start clicking and before I knew it I would be reading someones blog who lives across the country that I've never even met. I would learn of their life, their hardships, their favorites, their faith, etc. Often times it is very easy to become so enthralled in a persons blog it might feel as if you really knew this person and like they could be a good friend, as crazy as that sounds.
So anyway, after I started my blog I would and do often wonder who actually reads this little blog of mine. So I am going to steal Morgan's idea and just throw this out there. What's your name, where are you from, and do you have a blog?
Com'n don't be scared...here I'll go first...my name is McCall Queen, I currently live in Braselton, GA but hope to be in the ATL in a few months and why yes, I have a blog. See that isn't too difficult...now just click comment and let me know that people do actually read this thing!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Destin '08

As promised, here are the pics from our family vaca. There were so many & I couldn't decide which ones to use so I just made a slide show. It truly was a great vacation and I wish I was still there! Enjoy!